Loving Her Like A Distant Diamond Sky
by a mountain of gideon's scones
Summary: SAM! He conveys his emotions about Amelie and the pain with the assistance of a song - go ahead and check it out, PLEASE! Songfic.


**Untouchable:**

**Sam one shot about Amelie - please r&r!**

**I own neither the characters nor the song!**

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_**Untouchable like a distant diamond sky. I'm reaching out and I just can't tell you why.**_

Untouchable. That's one word to describe the Founder, Amelie. The Founder who has locked herself away from the public eye for near fifty years now. The Founder I just happen to be infatuated with.

The woman I love.

And she's out of reach, like the distant diamond sky. She's impossible to get close to because she doesn't want to be close to anyone. We were happy for just that short amount of time before she threw me out with the rubbish, acting as if I wasn't good enough for her.

Yet the pain isn't from her leaving me... Entirely. No, the intensity of this pain stems from the fact that I can never again feel the silky smoothness of her skin beneath my fingers. I can never again run my hand through her long golden locks. I can never even speak to her again.

She won't answer my incessant phone calls. She won't see me when I turn up. Even when I do things that usually require to see the Founder, like blowing up my car (partially on purpose, partially because I put diesel in instead of petrol then decided to set it on fire) or becoming a night school teacher, she deigns to show me to one of her workers... Or heaven forbid Oliver. When I am in the same room as her, she always makes sure she remains on the other side or rushes to any place which doesn't contain me. And every time I see her rushing away, my heart breaks into another piece. It ought to be sand by now, completely smooth and irreparable, but no, it finds itself another way to break. Every passing glimpse of her smooth, emotionless, face remains etched into my mind, as I wonder when she will realise. When she will realise that she cannot live without me, that we need to be together to be whole and happy.

But what if she doesn't want to be happy?

_But you're untouchable burning brighter than the sun. _

Because when I see her shimmering hair, it unleashes such a passion in me. It releases the heroic knight who charges after his princess because he loves her and cannot let her go. It makes me realise how much I worship the ground she walks on... How much I love her. How I cannot let her go and move on because I would be betraying the love we had and the future I know we have together.

_Now you're close, I feel like coming undone._

When she's near to me, this hero comes out... Until the gap between us shrinks. And in those few seconds before she realises my presence, I feel like a little boy, unable to do anything. Frozen to the spot, his insides turning because he cannot face doing this. He cannot confront her. I cannot confront her.

So it continues. On and on. Day after day, week after week, year after year, until we reach fifty years. Fifty years since she left me without an explanation. Fifty years since she broke my heart for the first time. Fifty years since I felt truly alive.

_In the middle of the night when I'm in this dream. It's like a million little stars spelling out your name._

So, here I am, in my small apartment on the edge of town. As far away from Amelie as I could be. In a place as far away as it could have looked if I had Amelie.

Small. Poky. Modern with a red sofa and television on the wall. A corner full of books - even that wouldn't be the same... There'd be a library the size of the Hippocrates Library! Nothing would be the same.

I dream about her. Every night. I dream sometimes of the good memories we shared, sometimes of the moment she left me. Hell, sometimes I even dream of those snapshots I take in my mind as she gets out of her limo or talks to Oliver.

I dream of her. Every night. She's like a curse... I can't let her go. We're too deeply intwined - if I let her go, I only hurt myself more. It's a downwards spiral.

So here we are, fifty years to the day since she left me and I'm no further forwards in my quest to get her back. Why me? Am I such a bad person that she couldn't love me?

Why do I even bother?

Why do I hang up on her? Why do I continue to holler for her, even though she doesn't want me?

"Why do I bother loving you, Amelie?" I ask outloud, to nothing in particular. "Why do I cause myself this heartbreak everyday when you don't love me back?"

"Because I love you more than I could possibly admit," Amelie's tearful voice comes from behind me and I spin around. I see a young woman in pain... But she isn't running. She isn't getting away from me as fast as she possibly can. She came here. To me. "And I have hurt you so much for the last fifty years and for that I am sincerely sorry. I pushed you away to protect the love we had rather than to risk new territory. I have been pining for you for half a century... And I am truly sorry."

"Why?" I ask her, tears in my eyes whilst my voice is rough with emotion. "Why leave me for so long?"

"I couldn't risk losing you... My heart was so fragile," she explains. "However, letting you go caused more ache and everytime I saw you it got worse. I thought it would dull over time, but no, it kept lingering and getting stronger. Can you ever forgive me?" she asks - what a stupid question!

I pull her close to me and feel the pain relinquish it's hold on me. I cannot say I feel sorrow for the only friend I have had for fifty years leaving me... How could I?

I have my Amelie here, now, and that is all that matters.

She has chosen to come for me... and for that I am truly grateful. After all, how much longer could I have survived with the woman I love being a distant diamond sky?

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**What did you think? I've actually not heard the song, but the lyrics were awesome!**

**Please review now that you've made it this far!**

**Vicky xx**


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